Ask:
So I am getting tired of the neighbors kids just coming over into my backyard and playing on our swingset without us even being outside. Some days we don't play outside, especially when I am sick we stay in. So when we look outside there are kids playing on our swingset. Some days it does cause problems. DD then wants to go outside, but I am not feeling good enough to go outside and watch them and they can't play out there by themselves.
Even when we are outside playing they will just come over and start playing. They don't even ask if it's ok can we play. And half the time they just ignore my kids, they just come to play on our stuff, not play with my kids.
The other thing is that they live across the street. So the kids are 6 and 3 and even the 19 month old running across the street without their parents even knowing where they are half the time. They are always riding their bikes down the middle of the road too. They have a trampoline, big sandbox and toys in there own backyard. Why can't they play at their own house? The difference is that they have a fence. I am really wanting a fence now to keep them out more than keep my kids in.
I would like to think that I have taught my kids to respect other people's property and it's still and ongoing lesson.
Today the mom was out at the end of our driveway talking to the neighbor next to me. The 2 little ones (3 and 19month) were running all over my driveway, eating and smashing crackers on my porch, sitting in and moving around our chairs. The garage door was open and I went out to get some meat out of the freezer. The 3 year old just comes waltzing into my garage to pull out my dd's bikes. I told her she needed to get out and then I closed the garage when I went in.
I am so frustrated with them not watching their kids, but I don't want to say anything because they are my neighbors and I don't want to make enemies.
Answer:
If you think there is a chance that these people are going to sue you when the 3 year old breaks her leg on your swingset - you need to either put up a fence or have a serious talk with their parents. Yes - you won't be friends anymore after this talk, but let's face it - you aren't friends now or they wouldn't be treating you this way.
Isn't there a saying that no one can take advantage of you without your consent? Sorry I'm so harsh! I really do understand where you are coming from and I think I would need someone to push me into this as well. Good luck!
Answer:
You do need to talk with them. It is wrong and rude. You can be nice - you are happy to share when they come over to play w/your kids, but perhaps the parents themselves need to invest in some other toys, and they are teaching their kids to be rude by allowing them to do this without asking permission. Make it sound like you are doing this for their benefit, but also for yours. You do need to stand and protect your own property.
Answer:
Well...it's probably cheaper to talk to them than to go out and purchase a fence! I know it's uncomfortable to approach someone about this, but it is not your responsibility to cater to these children. Ugh...I can't stand parents like this!! It's just plain rude!! It's better you speak up now than to let it continue. Some people are just plain ignorant. Most parents with common sense don't allow their children to just invade others homes/yards, but people like them....ugh!!!!
Answer:
I feel your pain..and while I don't really mind just the neighbor kids coming over, the mom babysits a pile of kids part time in the school year and full time over the summer...and they all come over, too. They own not ONE PIECE of children's outdoor or ride on play equipment at their house. UGH. I've already warned dh that it is going to get ugly. I have six of my own...I don't need the hassle OR the liability of that many more!!
Answer:
I would say talk to them. You won't necessarily make enemies. Maybe..just maybe..they don't know that you mind. Maybe they assume since the kids are always over there that you are OK with it. Is it rude for them to assume this without talking to you....yes, I think so, but I also think that you need to say something. I would absolutely DIE if my kids were acting like that on someone else's property.
Answer:
You do need to talk to them because they are a liability playing over in your yard - not to mention you do not need the emotionally stress if anything ever happened to one of them when they were crossing the road! It is beyond me why people do not watch their children! I cannot imagine my 3 year old crossing the street!
Answer:
OK so there is more to the story. I get along with the mom fine. I can talk to her in social settings. She has lived here as long as we have(4yrs). She use to be friends with 2 other moms on the street. They would get together and let there kids play and swim. My dd is younger than all of their older kids. So I was never invited to hang out with them and you just don't invite yourself over to someone's house.
So those 2 other moms both moved away and my neighbor moved onto a couple other friends in the neighborhood. We did get invited over once to swim. DD was 2 and little dd was just a couple months. DD got knocked over in the pool by the bigger kids and was gagging and screaming because she went under. None of the other moms even cared. So we also packed a little picnic that day to eat. The other moms all went in the house to eat and talk. I was left outside with all the kids. I wasn't going to leave my dd out without being watched with water around. So I felt like a loner being the one outside watching all the kids while the other mothers were inside.
So then the next friends she moved on too also moved. So she moved onto new friends.
Now a few other moms in the neighborhood start a playgroup. I finally have a group that I fit into and have some good friends. We have been having playgroup weekly now for about 18 months.
A couple months ago we had playgroup at my house. The neighbor and her girls came over toward the end of playgroup because her little girl said all her friends were over at my house. So then she says "oh you'll have to let me know where the next group is" and she just invites herself to join our playgroup.
Ok that sounds snotty of me. But she has her own friends that I have never been included with and she wants in our playgroup. So we missed the next few weeks because I was sick or we had other things. So I didn't ever call her and tell her where it was. One of the other ladies told her and my neighbor came a few weeks later and she had invited one of her friends. She invited herself into playgroup and then invtites someone else. They both have kids in kindergarten. We have tried to keep playgroup kids all the same age.
Now I sound like the stuck up person, but people really make me mad.
Answer:
Why don't you just talk to the kids directly? Tell them that they can't come over to your house to play unless you are outside and it's ok with you. Other than the littliest one, they are old enough to understand that. They probably won't listen, so when they are outside, just go out and tell them to go home. Just be nice about it and maybe it won't cause a problem.
Answer:
You're the mommy, that's why.
You're in charge. This is your house and it is your rules. You will, of course, be polite to the neighbor when she is at playgroup but it isn't like you're going to lose out on a friendship.
When you see her kids playing in your yard, tell them they have to go home. If they ask why just tell them it is your rule and don't explain any further.