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okay! at the beginning of the school year, older dd's teacher had a meeting with all of the parents and gave us lots of information, told us about herself, etc, etc. she had sign up sheets for every event throughout the year that was going to require parent volunteers. each event was printed on a sign up sheet with four lines (numbered 1., 2., 3., 4.) for parents to sign up on. with my dh's 24/48 work schedule and his required trainings (he's a fireman) and my required volunteering in my younger dd's preschool, i wasn't able to promise that night in august that i would be able to work the valentine party in february or go on a field trip in may. (i would have had to get a calender and spend lots of time counting off every third day minus the ones at presch...etc.) i explained to the teacher that i was available to volunteer in the classroom almost any day of the week, mornings or afternoons, but i had to plan in shorter durations of time. i was happy to offer my volunteer services as a reading helper, centers aide, copier, bulletin board maker--whatever--i'm always up to do the grunt work. i just couldn't commit to anything far away that night. apparently, four women were able to promise themselves to those events--the same four women. in the same order on every sign up sheet. i offered myself again to the teacher at every "parent/teacher" meeting, my dh offered me when he picked piper up from school. we weren't pushy--just reminding her i was available and wanted to help. anyway, i didn't get asked until the last week in april to finally do something. i volunteered exactly three times this year in my daughter's first grade class. i tried not to take it personally, but then i found out that another mother had been in every thursday to help with art...and she always brought along her 2 year old because she didn't have a babysitter--ever. other mothers were reading helpers, party planners, field trip chaperones...
my point--today i get a form from the principal asking us to answer questions about OUR satisfaction with the school year--if I felt like an integral part of the parent/teacher team, etc. my opinion on how i could be more involved... how do i answer the principal without sounding bitter or like i'm whining about being left out all year while the SAME 4 MOTHERS (i call them "the blond moms") were constantly in the classroom. i also got a letter today from blond mom #3 stating that she has decided to throw an end of the year party on the last day of school. we should send in our $2 to help cover the cost of pizza and drinks by wednesday. (why is there no "wtf?" smiley? ) of course i'm sending it in--not going to punish the little one for others' behavior.
what do you all say? i'll admit i'm a bit hurt in the self-esteem dept. but should i just let it go or should i parlez with the principal?
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I am very involved in my sons school ( I have actually been the PTO president for the past two years ) and I see what you have gone through all the time. I would simply state what has happened to you. I would point out that a sign up sheet at the beginning of the year is a little unfair and that you wish that there was more opportunity to volunteer your time. I would not use the blond moms title or anything like that because it makes you seem bitter to them personally ( which I would be ) but be as matter of fact as you can be also rememeber to offer up suggestions on how you think it would work better, it seems more like you are really trying to help and not just complaining. Try not to make your survey sound like an complaint of the teacher but just how things worked in the classroom. KWIM? Be sure to let the principal know how much you really want to be a part of your childs school experience and how important it is to you. I hope this helps and keep in mind that you are a great mom for wanting to be there.
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That's a really hard one. I think I would want to have a sit down talk with the teacher and tell her exactly how you feel and ask her to explain exactly why you were left out. I can understand why others were chosen on the days you couldn't commit to, but if there were other times that you could be of help your chaperone, you should have gotten a chance to do so. The year is almost over and nothing can fix this now, but I would want the teacher to clarify why things were done as they were before you submitted your form to the principal.
I'm sorry you were hurt by all of this. I would have been too. Big hugs.
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I would fill out the form honestly, I do not think you will come off looking like you are whinning about anything. You cant be the only one that feels that way. I dont see how anyone could sign up to help out with anything that far in advance. That teacher should do sign ups something like a month in advance. She is just doing it to make less work for her later on once school is in full swing. I am hoping that I dont run into the same problem like you when my kids start school next school year. I will have my 5 & 4 year old going to different schools plus have a 16 month (that is what he is now) to have too.
That is tacky that someone would take a 2 year old along too. That time she signed up for was to help with her childs classroom, not have a 2 year old disrupt the class. If you cant find a babysitter, than dont sign up for anything.
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thanks for responding, ladies. you have good advice.
to clarify: i never say "blond moms" to anyone but my dh and my sister (who lives in another state and is the pres. of her pto) and i always lump them together or give them a number--i never mention individual names. also, i love the teacher--she was so amazing we want her to move up to teach the 2nd grade so piper can have her again i agree that it was the "queen bee" politics of the parents that is to blame and not the teacher's policies.
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I agree that you should inform the principal! That is unfair and I would be upset as well. As a teacher I always sent out a letter for each event and took sign ups in the order they were returned. If I had a parent vol. to do anything...I'd take them up on it. There is ALWAYS something a teacher needs done. As a parent I wouldn't help in my sons class because I didn't have anyone to watch my dd. The teacher gave me a project to complete at home. I finished it in one night and returned it the next day, she was extatic and gave me other projects throughout the year. Anyway, let the principal know that you were disappointed.
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So funny you mentioned "Queen Bee's" because I'm reading that book right now and that's exactly what I thought when you talked about the blonde mom group. I would talk to both the teacher and the principal, especially since you say that she's a great teacher. She may be very understanding and may change the way she's doing things for next year. I had the other problem at my 2DD's school this year, no advance notice at all! Just because I am a SAHM doesnt mean I'm home all day every day, I need to know about activities and volunteer oportunities at least a week ahead, not the day before they're scheduled.
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Definitely talk to the teacher. tell her what you said about signing up at the beginning of the year being a little unrealistic. Also, although she should have realized this, you should tell it is not fair or appropriate that the same four moms signed up for every party. One of my kids' teachers had parents sign up on a volunteer list at the beginning of the year that said we'd be interesting in volunteering, etc. Then when something would come up, the class parent would call and see who could do it.
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I'm so glad this teacher was so good for your daughter! That's encouraging! My suggestion would be to just talk to the teacher and express your disappointment about not being able to volunteer. Maybe in a one-on-one talk, you both could come up with an individualized way for you to volunteer. It does sound like you have a mommy-clique going there, and it IS hard to break in!
Mar