Ask:
Thinking of what DH does around here for housework and what my children do....they all need to start pitching in, I am doing my children no favors by letting them get away with not helping!
My children are ages 2, 5, 7, 9 & 11 and they really don't do a heck of a lot around here.
My 11 year old picks up everyone's laundry and brings it down to the laundry room
My 9 year old loves to clean and organize things ( but on her schedule--like if she gets a cleaning bug, she will clean the bathroom top to bottom--this bug doesn't bite often)
My 5 year old and 7 year old help folding washclothes but that's about it.
My other children will help--esp. my 2 year old.
Everyone except 2 year old puts their own clothes away after I fold them.
What can I get them to do to lighten my load--this fall I will be in my final year of nursing school and DH will be in his first.....it will be even more crazy around here so I want to have a well oiled machine before fall!
Also- what kinds of incentives do you use (my kids are VERY incentive driven, they will help no strings attached, but when I have an incentive for extra work--I always have takers).
Answer:
I don't like to use money as an incentive, they should help b/c they are part of the family. I would use special treats, like a trip to the zoo or something that involves special time with you. Like, if we get all the bedrooms done today, tomorrow we can go have a picnic at the park...along those lines is what I do.
You shouldn't be carrying the burden of housework with all those kids! Put 'em to work! All of them except the 2 year old can do dishes, put in and unload the dishwasher, I would teach the older ones how to do laundry and fold it themselves. A middle aged one can be in charge of trash and dusting. The younger ones can put away items on the floor so the older one can come behind with the vacuum. The 11 year old could mow the yard and the younger ones can do the weeding. Especially the 11 year old can do everything you do, it won't be done as well, but if you teach them HOW you want it done then you will get better results. Remember, kids used to get married and run estates at 13 so they can handle some housework!
I've seen large families like yours make a weekly chart with all the jobs that need to be done and rotate the person in charge or you could give each child set jobs. I think rotating is fair, unless you have kids that like certain jobs then a set one works well.
Answer:
Want me to send you my chore charts?!?!? Actually a few months ago, when I finally got myself on a schedule (took me long enough!), the chore charts went away. Now, I just make a note on the wipe off board everyday before they get home listing what I need each of them to do. Some of the things include folding clothes and putting stacks of laundry on the right person's bed, emptying the dishwasher, picking up the clutter from an assigned room, taking out the trash, gathering garbage, dusting, wiping down doors and around light switches (sticky hands!), cleaning off the bar, etc. Each of my bigger kids have one chore that is specifically theirs each week...garbage for one, dusting for one, and matching socks for one. Besides that, we rotate. They also all have to clear off the table together after supper and load the dishwasher of the dirty dishes. They grumble once in a while, but overall, it has taught them that I am not their slave, that I have a life, too, and that they have to pitch in around here, too!!
Answer:
I don't think money as an incentive works...I've never done that myself, but I've known people that have tried that and it totally backfired because the kids didn't care if they didn't get paid...kwim? Depends on your kids though...maybe if you don't want to use money you could use an outing, like a movie. Or going to go get ice cream if that is a special treat.
We don't have regular chores at our house but I do expect the kids to things like keep their room tidy, put their clothes in their hamper, tidy up their bed each day etc They're very good about it. But I've had those expectations since they were small, so it's all they've known. I do ask them to do things for me, like just now I asked my 12 year old to go cover the pile of mulch in the driveway since we have some thunderstorms moving in...he went and did it right away and then also unpacked a bunch of stuff out of my car for me. Without being asked. I love it when they do stuff like that! They've started emptying the dishwasher without being asked if they notice it's clean and full...matching socks if they see the basket in the family room and I haven't finished. Maybe they're oddball kids but this is what is working for us.
I don't ask my DH to do anything around the house. I've said before that it may sound old fashioned but I think my job is our home. He would happily do things if I asked him though, but he works very hard and travels each week. I can find time to vacuum when I'm home. That's just how I look it for our family.
Maybe have a family meeting and let the kids give their suggestions on how to make it work for your household, maybe if they feel that they're involved with the decision making that they'll be more willing to do it?
Answer:
Thanks for all of the great suggestions.
I also really like the "family meeting" suggestion.
And you are right, I am not their slave and I have a life too....at least that's how I justify my Caribou/Starbucks mochas each week--my treat to myself!