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So there are a few things that i am going to address so i apologize in advance!
MIL and i generally get along pretty well, i know that she bugs me every once in a while, and i know that she gets upset with me.
WEll.....first incident. DH and I and the three kiddos went over there for a visit after our stone mtn. trip. I was very tired as DH had to work more than expected and i had the three kids and my big prego self in a crowded amusement park alone. The kids were playing in the backyard and we started getting ready to leave. WEll, the kids started arguing and i just sighed at them. MIL looked at me and said "oh ya, you definately need this baby too" in a really snotty tone. What the heck? Thank you so much for all the support and faith in us. It just really got under my skin.
She also seems to show a lot of favortism towards DSS. She will invite him to stay the night all the time and not DD (DS will not spend the night with her ever, only DH's dad) It hurts DD feelings. The other day we were over there eating and we have a rule that DH and i always stick with. WE eat dinner at dinner time and when you get down you are done, the plates don't sit on the table for hours for you to get up and down from. WEll kiddos picked a little and then got down from the table, so DH reminded them if they got down they were done. Well they all got down anyway. So i started cleaning up their plate and she started calling DSS telling him to come eat some more food. So i reminded her what DH said and she told me "well the others might be done, but i know he wanted this so he can have it" Ummmmmm...............if one gets to come back, they all do, but that is not how we do it. DH was furious, but avoids confrontation so says nothing. Then DH got onto DSS for something and MIL says "you should just let me keep him tonight" so Dh asked me and i said "well we kinda had plans" so DH tells her "not tonight" well then she comes in and says "i am not going to hurt him while he is here" GRRRRRRr. I said, i know, how about friday? She says ok, well then DD starts saying that she wants to stay too and MIL ignores her. So then SIL calls yesterday and asks if DD can stay too. I let her, but have been worried that she has been ignored the entire time. It irritates me anyway because we have limited time with DSS and we are trying to get him used to being with siblings (he is an only child at his moms) and MIL always wants to take him on our weekends. It is just frustrating. Then whenever he come home from her house he says he wants to go back because daddy is mean and bosses him around.
NOW............she has driven us crazy about moving closer, so we did. We are now 30 min away. Well, baby is due in July and she told us that she has decided to take a job in another state and they gave her the option to leave in june or august and she is leaving in june!!! I said "you are goin to leave right before the baby is due????' she just said yep like it was no biggie. After all the griping for us to move closer so she could be around the kids and she is moving. Nice. It also really bugs because my family isn't here, which means that once again we will be alone at the hospital, which is fine with me, but i know dh wouldn't mind some company. And his dad probably won't come because his DSD just had her baby and is living with him and his wife.
So it just really bothers me. Sorry, but i had to get this out!!
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I am so sorry you are having to go thru all this when your down to the countdown for new babby. I understand the MIL thing we have kinda written off my hubbys mom cause she live all the way across the world on the west coast and chooses to having nothing to do with us. So maybe you could write these bad vibes out of y0ours too and see if it helps at all.
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I hate you are dealing with this, it is a pain. I wish I had words of advice, but I don't. I HATE it when favortism is shown!!
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First of all - you cannot do anything about the way your MIL behaves and maybe moving will be a good thing for you. That way you will be able to have your DSS over to your house when it is your weekend and not have to share him with her.
It is so hard to combine families - I know - I have been married 17 years. My in-laws are fine. I really use to go out of my way to make sure I included them in everything but no more. I felt like they were not treating my husband fair (he works for his dad and has all his life) and I stood up for him to them. Well needless to say that did not go over well with my DH so that was when I decided to just back off. I let him handle his parents and I handle my family. If he is going to let them treat him badly so be it. But I refuse to be a part of it. As far as my children - I have to say my Inlaws worship my girls and do not show any difference in them. That would really make me mad!!!!
None of this may help you with your situation but I hope it will let you know you are not alone in this. Vent to us all you want. Sometimes it helps others to know that they are not the only ones with family issues!!!
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Whew! Thank goodness she's moving! From what you wrote, the sooner the better.
Yeah, I got your point - it would be nice to have family support, especially from the paternal grandparents. Unfortunately, your husband's parents aren't going to be those kind of people. When you look at why your husband's first marriage broke up, assume that the in-laws were a contributing factor.
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I have the same problem with my MIL. She always wants my DSD to stay over, and never my DS. I finally came up with a solution that works for us. Sometimes my DH and I like to go out on Saturday nights for dinner and a movie, so DSD goes to Grandma's house and DS is happy with the fun babysitter. MIL knows DSD can only stay with her on the nights we go out. I know its not really solving the big issue, but it keeps me sane!
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I too have problems with my ex-MIL but she has never really liked me.
Mine situation is a litle different but a little similar in that she doesn't treat my girls the same. When her daughter "D" had her 1st son, "V" (ex-MIL) would take care of him as if it were her own. I mean D wouldn't hardly ever be around. Then D moved 2 hours away to a new state and got pregnant with "M" and D would call V and she would drop whatever she was doing and go to her. The boys would call and ask Nanny to come read them a story and she would be out the door in a heartbeat. Now I became pregnant with dd1 and she didn't even come to my baby shower. The day I was in labor she was mad that I didn't call her to be there when I had the baby WTF?? When I went into labor with dd2 we asked her to watch dd1 and she flat out said No and told us to take her with us to the hospital. From that day on I have never asked her for anything. Mind you she lives about 30 minutes from me. Then she would cause problems and tell her sister that she couldn't believe that I never have asked her to watch the girls. I told the aunt what had happened and to this day she has hardly ever seen my kids. It's sad to me because she is the only grandmother that my girls have. My mom died when I was younger.
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Ugh. Sometimes you have to wonder how certain mothers haven't completely ruined their son's chances of being a human being. Ignore her. You don't need that kind of drama. And you won't have it if she's moving to another state.
Good luck!
-Lucky