Ask:
Anyone have any tips on how create a buget when you DH isn't interested? I have tried for over a month to try to talk to him and get his in put. He just looks at me like he has no idea what i'm talking about. I swear it's like deer in the head lights syndrome!!!!!
ARGH!!!!
I want to get out of debt and start saving money. I just get so frustrated with him.
Answer:
I can totally relate to you. Even though our experiences probably aren't completely similar, my dh and I went through a time where we were NOT on the same page with our finances. I tried everything during that time - crying, screaming, bawling, swearing, everything I could think of. I even forbade him to use the checkbook. I was going to do EVERYTHING financial, so that I would know what was going on.
NONE of that stuff worked.
Things started getting much, much better for us when he finally "got it." He said it was a male pride thing, that he had a hard time admitting that we were having such financial problems. The only way it is working for us is that we finally have common goals and we work together on everything. I don't know what to suggest, but please know I'm here for you, as you struggle until he "gets it." I know how crushed I felt during the time we went through.
Answer:
Dh's attitude towards debt is that it will always be there so who cares. My attitude is oh no it isn't, we will pay it off even if it takes 10-20 years. I pay the bills, I have the rapid debt reduction plan laid out, I do the spending diary so I can track expenses, and I do the budget. He will ask me before he buys something like a pair of shoes to see if there is enough money for that. He will also ask before eating out with the girls to check on the grocery/food budget. I guess I'm lucky in that fact. I work with a woman who has had to hide the checkbook and his debit card, and she gives him an allowance to live off of. His next option is divorce.
I guess my advice is to do a budget by yourself. If he doesn't want to sit down with you to figure it out then he shouldn't have the right to complain about it later. You are doing what is best for you and your family.
Answer:
Try letting HIM take control for a while..and maybe he will see that a budget needs to be planned out TOGETHER??
Answer:
I asked him tonight why he doesn't want to work on it together and he told me that he "trusts" me?
What is that supposed to mean?
Gosh I feel like I am treating him like a child! I want a DH not another kid!
*sigh* I feel guilty acting like this he work REALLY hard..... 10-12 hous shifts...
sorry for all my complaining
Answer:
I know how you feel My husband loves to spend and says he will spend (cash) on most of what he wants because that is what he will do as long as we live in our home. He is some how convinced that living in the city in a quiet neighboris a bad thing. Then he boo hoos about wanting to move and gets frustrated when I tell him that his spending hold us back. I know he is able to buy what he wants with cash which is good but we need to pay down our home equity loan if we are going to be able to sell our home in our areas bad economy. He some how expects me to figure out how to pay down the loan and other bills with him spending a little to much money. I don't have problems paying the bills. We just don't have a lot extra to pay down with due to his spending.
I personally want to stay in our home. I like a home that you feel you can live in. I don't feel like I need a showpiece to be happy. I also don't think it makes any sense to move 15-20 minutes away from our current location and pay $75,000 to $100,000 more for the same size home. I know that most of our neighbors make $30,000 or less a year and my husband makes $100,000+ a year but I like our neighborhood. I also want our daughter growing up seeing the reality of life and not just seeing how rich white people live in their perfect little neighborhoods and all wearing the smae perfect Abercrombie and GAP outfits...and going broke keeping up with the neighbors.
Jen
Answer:
Yes, Well two weeks ago I had it and now I am having My DH enter in everything and update our finances using MS Money. Yes it is helping because he is now more aware of how little we have left over, how we are not making the dent I hoped to make with debt.
We also read Smart Couple Finish Rich as suggested by reading it together and discussing each chapter before moving on. Reading any book on personal finance together can put you on the same page. We at least have increased our retirement savings and know what else we need to be doing.
Answer:
My dh is the same way. I try to put us on a budget and he goes out and spends almost $150.00 a week on gas ($70.00) and the rest on redbull and fast food lunches. Men just don't get it. I've decided to pay off my debt (my credit cards, ar, etc.) on my own and since I pay the bills, I only pay the minimum amount on his cards and stuff so he won't have as much money to put on them. He thinks credit cards are supposed to be maxed out for some reason. URGH!! They make me so mad at times.