Ask:
They just got yogurt out for themselves and brought it into the livingroom. I told them not to open it in there. they said they won't.Guess ehat, they did open it.Then ds made a mess on the chair. Had him clean it up, and made them go to kitchen. Now they have been sent to their rooms. They do this often(do what they wnat after I tell them not to do something).Why do they do this and how do I stop it. I do give them time outs for this but it isn't stopping them.
Oh yeah, they also "forget" things that I tell them. Example: don't play in the water outside,quit playing in mud,ect...
Help me get them more disaplined before I go batty!!!
Answer:
I hope you get some good answers as I am going through the same exact thing. Right now matter of fact. The girls room looks like a hurricane past through it and I have them in there cleaning it. Well my 5 yo has come out of her room several times to ask me a question. My 7 yo has come to tell me that the 5 yo isn't cleaning. Why can't they just clean the room and get it done and over with? They also go into the fridge and help themselves to whatever they want even after I tell them no. They go to their room, time out & have to sit in chair for 5 & 7 minutes.
Good Luck!
Answer:
#1 - They are children. There is a reason they don't get adult responsibilities yet. Developmentally, they can't handle it! Do expect that they will continue to make mistakes up to and well past the age of 18. There is nothing you can do about it and it isn't a reflection of your abilities as a mommy.
As for the doing what they want after you told them 'no', you have to enforce the 'no' more diligently. I know you're busy and distracted with trying to get a thousand things done. Maybe that is contributing to your children's attitude. They know they can get away with not following the rules because you won't notice. The change has to come from you. For the next few weeks your children are the #1 one priority and getting them to mind the first time you say something is the #1 thing to do.
Answer:
Mine just seem to not have ears when calling them in for dinner, the evening, etc. I guess they just want to keep playing outside ... it was a long winter ... but, I feel your pain!!! Sorry I can't help more!
Answer:
My children have "selective hearing". Tell them to clean up, stay out of the fridge, stop fighting, etc. I get no response. Whisper the word "ice cream" from a different room and they come running! I have learned to just pick my battles. Helping themselves to a snack--ok, let that slide. Helping themselves to a snack on my new couch--punishable with death as an option! (just kidding)
Answer:
Children have a hard time processing a negative, it's just human nature. When you tell them 'don't open it in the living room', they hear 'open it in the living room'. If you can change your wording, you'll see results. Instead of don't, use do. You can have it in the kitchen. Keep the table clean. Keep the water turned off. Play in the grass. When you start speaking to them in positives rather than negatives, you'll see a difference. It's a lot harder than it sounds though.
Answer:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookie2
#1 - They are children. There is a reason they don't get adult responsibilities yet. Developmentally, they can't handle it! Do expect that they will continue to make mistakes up to and well past the age of 18. There is nothing you can do about it and it isn't a reflection of your abilities as a mommy.
As for the doing what they want after you told them 'no', you have to enforce the 'no' more diligently. I know you're busy and distracted with trying to get a thousand things done. Maybe that is contributing to your children's attitude. They know they can get away with not following the rules because you won't notice. The change has to come from you. For the next few weeks your children are the #1 one priority and getting them to mind the first time you say something is the #1 thing to do.
I have to agree with a lot of this post. That is not to say I do not have the same problems and the sibling fighting drives me insane . To the point sometimes I want to run from the house screaming. What I have come to realize is this. Always catch them doing something good and compliment them on it. If they get more positive feedback they will not look for any negative feedback. Also try to explain to your children when both you and them are calm and not in the moment exzactly why you do not want them doing what ever it is they keep doing. Give them reasons example I do not want you eat out of the fridge because if will spoil your appetitie and then you will not be eating a good balanced meal. Sounds kind of cookey but it does work. Hardest job on the earth: being a parent.
Answer:
We have an open fridge policy as long as it's a healthy snack. I was raised with a strict.. ASK FIRST, don't open the fridge rule.. We even had to ask for a glass of water... I have found with my girls that they will go get a yogurt, cheese slice or a few carrot sticks. As long as the are responsable they can help themselves. So far it has worked, they haven't eatten everything we have. They have the security that if they want something they can get it.
Answer:
we have a bin of dry fairly healty snacks (Crackers, fruit bars etc) they can help themseves but they do come to let me know ( I usually dont mindunless I am making dinner )they have water bottles they carry around the house!! (I am a big eater drinker and have noticed I feel better when I drink my water and they notice itto when they have water!! The inhealthy snacks go up high!! for all f us! I do think we all need them soemtimes!!