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Yesterday I received the last child support payment. It was prorated because my baby turns 18 on the 21st. We also found out yesterday that he and his new wife went out and bought a brand new Nissan Altima. She already had a nice car but I know how he is - every dollar earned is a dollar spent. I guess he doesn't anticipate his kids ever needing anything ever again. Am I suprised... not at all.
I was looking forward to this day for soooo many years. No more pussyfooting around him for the sake of the kids, no more conditions I have to adhere to in able to get the support payments... so why did I spend the entire day yesterday crying? I was sooooo sad, scared about money, feeling very insecure and panic stricken. I have never relied on him for anything so it's not like my saftey net was taken away. I can't put my feelings into words, I'm just a sobbing panic stricken mess.
I was warned about a lot of things but no one has ever mentioned me having a meltdown when it all finally came to a final end.
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(((hugs)))
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Look how much you have been through already and how strong you have been. Maybe you just gave into all the past emotions too! You will be just fine!!!
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Maybe it was meant to be a 'cleansing'.
You have a new start- you have to look at it that way.
Consider it a new journey up the pathway of life.
Great BIG HUGS!!!
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Big Big to you!
I can see where that would be emotional. It is like another door closing when you thought they were all already closed, and one was left open. If that makes any sense.
And please don't take this the wrong way. But we stopped by our neighbors last night to thank them for collecting our mail while we were on vacation. And he was soooo excited about having three older children out of college and 19 years of child support behind him. All I could think about was the other side of that (your side). He seems very very involved though and seems like he will always be in their lives...so I little bit different. But it was interesting to see his side of this situation.
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I'm not offended... who wouldn't be relieved to be done with a large bill no matter what the source. I think I'm sad because I know how he is, without a court order to pay he won't offer or cough up a dime no matter what the need. My kids were raised to be independant so they have always had jobs and do really well taking care of their bills but sometimes they get in a bind or have a genuine need (like help with tuition or books, a car repair, gas money loan till payday.) . It would be nice to know they have a father they can count on when it's beyond my limits.
I'm feeling much better the past few days. The kids said they are relieved the payments are done too because now they don't feel obligated to spend time with him the 3 or 4 times a years he makes time to see them. How sad is that? One of the reasons I married him was because he was such a deeply rooted family man who loved kids and looked forward to becoming a father. He is a great husband and step father to his new family... as for us he was not interested. I have to stop before I get myself all worked up again.