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so there's a boy next door. he's 5. he's got an infant sister. the kid doesnt have anyone to play with since the kids in the neighborhood are older (over 7) and he's not allowed to play with them (on his own) yet. so he's bored. his mom works so we see him only after 4pm after he's home from day care.
well he's annoying. i really dont like being outside after 4pm because he used to stand at my family room window (when it wasnt so hot and the windows were open) and yell for my daughter to come outside (she's 3) well she'd get all excited but as it always happens, they play nice for about 2 nanoseconds and then she's in tears because, well, he's annoying and i dont like how they play together - they never just "play" he is always swiping some toy, poking her, doing whatever. now that the a/c is on, the shades are drawn and now he cant yell into the house.
but now we have a rectangle blow up pool that i get in with both girls after naptime - and yes he's right there involved in whatever we're doing. i cant just spend time with the girls, he's right there....annoying me by his presence.
so, no i dont want to talk to his parents because technically he's not doing anything bad - he's just annoying. and really, i just want to spend some time with my girls in the backyard without him being right in our faces. its not like im gonna go up to his parents and say "listen...your kids annoying..."
so what to do? ive noticed that his parents are beginning to "let him out" alone when they know we're outside - and the kid is bored and just waits for my daughter to come outside.
so anyone have this kind of situation? any tricks for getting around it? i dont want to cause a commotion with the neighbors since no one likes to hear that their kid is "annoying" but how do i reclaim my backyard without him in my face all summer long (and his familydoesnt eat dinner till 7-730 pm so there's no out for me!)
tips please!
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6ft wooden privacy fence?
sorry not much help
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I feel sorry for any kid whose parents shove him outside to play with the neighbors and never come out to supervise or play with them. That said, I also wouldn't want to be the neighbor forced into tolerating him. You said he doesn't come home until 4? If you don't want to talk to the parents (I wouldn't either) I'd be out in the yard with the girls as much as we wanted before 4pm, then I'd head inside for indoor time.
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All i can say is i really feel for you. I have a whole neighborhood like that and they all end up at my house.
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I'm so sorry. Is there any way you can say maybe that the pool time is girls time and your dd would rather it just be you time? Or that while you and DD are in the pool you don't feel comfortable with him out alone? That way maybe they will keep him inside. Because I know I would feel responsible if he was near my pool and that would keep me from focusing on dd.
Hope this gets better.
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I would simply tell him to go home. I would say " Johny its not a good time to play right now and you need to go home. " You are not getting paid to watch this kid and should feel no guilt about telling him to go home, if the parents have a problem with it then that is there problem and they can deal with it. I dont think that there is anything wrong with you being direct and telling him it is time to go home, you deserve your family time and dont have any responsibility to this child, his parents do so let them deal with him. This is your yard and you should not have to hide from this kid and you should not be limited to when you can and cant go out. Stand your ground and demand your rights!
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I'd say something to the parents, no way should you feel a hostage in your own back yard. You aren't running a daycare, you are trying to enjoy your children!
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I think you should take a couple of hours a couple of days and teach him how to play with your daughter. Be right there playing. Teach him what to do. If he starts to be inappropriate, say, "That's not what we do. This is what we do..." His parents obviously never showed him how. Many kids don't know how just by watching, and some, like this child, probably never gets the opportunity to watch how others play. He just has to know that when he comes over, it's under your rules. If he can't play nice, he must go home. He also has to limit when he comes over - either only when invited or he must ask, but it can't be every day. Usually, once kids like that know the rules, they go by them - with reminders. He just has to be taught first.
Is that your job? No. I'm sure he's annoying to his parents, too. But if you want to help him and have a playmate for your own kid, this is a good way. You may also turn an annoying kid into a little helper. You may find him eager to please.
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and he's outside again - i just came in from the blow up pool to fix dinner and my hub took my spot - not 1 min after i got into the pool was he right next to us, having a waterfight with my 3 yr old. told him to nicely go home cause it was girl time, he just stayed.
this will be a long summer....help!
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Judging from what you are saying, he may be an Asperger's child. They do not understand or pick up on niceties or hints. You have to be blunt, or speak plainly. You can't tell a kid like that that it's time for dinner (he may wait to be invited to dinner), or that you're getting tired. You have to tell him EXACTLY the behavior you need.
This is mommy and baby time now and I have to have you go home now. Don't say, I have to ask you to go home - asking is a yes or no thing to him. "Perhaps you can come back tomorrow" - that means you can come back tomorrow. I would set up a time - why don't you come on Wednesday at 3pm...he'll remember and will be obsessed and excited about it.
"You can't come over without having your mommy call first and ask. That's not how it's done." Don't just tell him what he does wrong - tell him how to do it.