Ask:
I was not even going to post this because I just don't want any negative karma but I just need some advice. My dh shares with his parents things I feel are not necessary (not about sex or anything like that ) but some stuff I feel that does not concern them. I am okay with the fact that he wants to share some good stuff about the kids with them after all they are the grandparents. But I sometimes think he does not have to share so much with them. There is one particular reason I feel like this simply because they are the green eyed monsters. If they are not happy they don't want you to be happy. Dh does not like to admit or turns a blind eye to it but his family is the green eyed monsters. I feel they put the evil eye on us at times when things are going well for us and are very noisy. Not to mention that when my husband shares things with his mother in particular she has a large family and feels the need to share our business with the whole family. But there business is hush hush and they only tell you what they want you to know. I have tried talking to dh calmly about this we have fought over this and nothing seems to change his mind about this. I don't want to just come out and say hay don't tell your mother anything because he is not a child and I would not want him to tell me what I could or could not tell my sister or mom. I am reading the book the secret know and have watched the dvd and it says that you attract all the situations that are in your life to you I don't know how I attracted this family but I have been with dh for 15 years and maybe when I was younger I had different priorities and stuff. I am sorry this is so long and rambles on but I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for "listening".
Answer:
I went through the same thing when we had our first son. I finally had to sit my DH down and tell him that there are some things that does not have to be shared with anyone but us. It's not that we're trying to hide anything but I don't think that everyone needs to know every detail about our business. His mom still does the "20 questions" thing every once in awhile and my DH has finally gotten to the point where he tells her to back off instead of answering all the questions. Sorry this is long but I just wanted to let you know that I feel what you're going through and it's good that you got it out.
Answer:
I think that everyone can relate in some form - I have had to tell my DH not to talk about things with his co-workers. They work really long hours together and I am shocked what he knows about them and their lives - it's like he's their therapist. I trust that he doesn't tell them too much, but I still wonder from time to time. My in-laws are big into asking "how much did that cost," which horrifies me because I was brought up thinking that money is a very private thing that is just between family.
I have a friend who is in your same situation - her DH tells stuff to his mom then she tries to stun the daughterinlaw (usually successfully) with her "knowledge" of her life. What a trying situation - I don't have any advice, but I wish you the best.
Answer:
I know what you mean....kinda...except my MIL questions our daughter cuz my DH avoids her...grrr.....BUT their business is their business...KWIM?
mhender ~
Know what you mean about DH's work....except I'm the one they come to. I guess being the only female in the dep't, they always ask me or tell me stuff. TMI !!!!I mean, stuff I don't even want to think about! I never ask why they are telling me or asking me, I just answer as calmly as I can and leave it at that. I really don't want to know what they want to do in the bedroom or what they have done & why didn't it work? Or their wive's TOM !!!!
Answer:
Luckily, my Dh doesn't volunteer anything about us or our lives to his parents. He loves them and is close to them but he's very closemouthed. It's just not the type of person he is...
If this were a problem, I'd just talk to him about it. But that's how Dh and I deal with things, we just talk to each other.