Ask:
A coworker lets her girls drink alcohol (wine coolers and beer) when they have a party at home. The youngest is 14. I told her that the message she is sending her girls is underaged drinking is ok. She says "oh, they know they can only do this at our house when we (herself/husband) are home". I think her philosphy is flawed and guess what, she found empty beer cans under the 14 year old's bed.
Do you give your kids alcohol? I could see on special occasions and they are older 19-21, but not 14. I didn't drink in high school, but did in college. So maybe I'm stricter in my judgement because I didn't drink in high school.
I don't have to worry about it for awhile, my oldest is 6. What do other families do?
Answer:
14 no but maybe their senior year. My mom took me to parties bougt booze for me. I was the most non wild of all my friends I think partly because of this ... I was not "getting" away with anything and had to be responsable to call my mom to pick me up etc. I didn't get drunk all the time bacuse I was not getting away with it like all my other friends whom were sneeking out and doing a lot more worse things than drinking beacuse it was the way their parents presented it to them. In my case my friends with the parents that were strict were Horrable I mean bad they did things I never would have thought of doing just becuause they were out of control since they were kept so much in line. I mean kids are kids and kids are going to find away. I think you just have to teach them to be responsable and aware of all the what if's.
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I have a friend that lets her 16 yr old drink on special occasions, but I just can't see myself letting my kids do the same. Do these parents know the (legal) concequence for providing alcohol to a minor, even if it is in their own home? In MY opinion, I think it sets the example that we don't have to obey the law if we don't think we are going to get caught.
Answer:
Ds always asks for a sip of wine and I tell him he'll have his first sip at First Communion. Dh and I have a glass of wine maybe every two weeks and dh makes beer at home. We're going to try not to make a big deal out of it so it won't become a big deal, however, we would never serve to anyone under the age and that includes ds. I'm sure when he's a lot older and wants a sip (14-16) we'll give him one. But as for serving? You've got to be kidding! Does anyone know the legal ramifications of 'just' serving to minors? You can lose everything! Who wants to take that chance? Not us!!
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The way My parents handled it was the way Stormy explained. When we were around 14 and on up we could have a sip of thier wine at holidays and such, but never more than that. My dad gave me a sip of beer once, and I think that's why I never drank it (blah)!!
This is probably what we'll do with our kids. It's my job as their parent to teach them the rules, and laws and how to obey them. So not until my kids are 21 will they ever be able to drink more than a sip in my house.
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My kids might get a sip, but no, I will not serve them. Around here they are busting people left and right about it. We have had some pretty high profile cases of kids driving drunk and causing fatal accidents and these kids came from parties where parents of friends knowingly supplied the alcohol and were in attendance Now when I was 19 or 20, my mom would let me have a glass of champagne on special occasions, but they never would have done that at 14 They are making examples of parents here right now. In the past year 4 set of parents have been sent to prison for between 24 months and 5 YEARS! They had to send their children to other family members and basically lost everything and these were affluent people. Not the typical rednecks we tend to see around here giving Jr a beer while hunting!
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H*LL NO!!!!!! We don't even drink alcohol, my kids will never have it at my house.
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I think 14 is ridiculous! I can see 19-21 like someone said and then only maybe one and not in the presense of their own (kids) friends. My parents never let us have a drink at home but they definately did their share of getting babysitters to watch us when they went out and then when we were old enough went out all of the time. We saw the effects of alcohol and sometimes I think that is why I started going behind their backs with it when I was in high school. I know now that we have to be the responsible ones and show our kids how to be responsible with it.
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I think your co-worker is just asking for trouble. If she thinks her girls are only drinking at home i think she will have a rude awakening someday. To find empty beer cans under her bed is a warning sign already that there is a major problem.
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We were allowed to have a SMALL glass of wine with a special dinner or a sip of champagne at a wedding, not matter what our age. However, a young teenager walking around with a beer or wine cooler is a BIG no-no. At that point the alcohol isn't a ceremonial inclusion of the child, it's allowing the child to get a 'buzz'.