Ask:
Yes, it's summer time and the dreaded "Can____ Spend the night?" season also. Don't get me wrong, i am glad that my dd is making friends and socializing but it's affecting my sleep and sanity. She brought home a nice little girl but she's got a huge appetite, and i do mean HUGE!! I am on a grocery budget as it is and don't need to take out a 2nd mortgage just to feed my dd's friends. Last night they went thru a whole bag of chips and a bag of oreo cookies (which was supposed to be dh's treat) and also the entire 6 pack of yogurt i bought, She ate all of her supper and half of dd's too. Some days they come over here to play and in a 2 hour time span she needs "snacks". Last night dh was snacking on crackers and that canned cheese stuff, she just bluntly asked if she could have some too and finished off what was left of the cheese. OMG im gonna go broke with dd's new friends!! Yes we have tried to tell dd that she cannot just take food, but when this girl asks us directly how do you say no?? I'm gonna have to lock our snacks away in a cabinet i think?
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Wow. It sounds like that little girl sure does have an appetite. I feel for you but you're right...how can you say 'no'?
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I know one of my friends has said that her son's friends eat her out of house and home but so far I have not had that problem with my girls & their friends - I thought it was mostly boys!!! How old are these girls. You might just say we have one snack in the afternoon and one at night. Do her parents let her eat this way at home - we have some neighbors that do not allow cokes, chips and sweet snacks at their house and when their kids come to my house - goodness - all they want to do is eat!!!!
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My dd, who is 4 is that same type of friend - I am not kidding. But I know she is and I tell the parents not to keep feeding her. I have told all the parents of whose homes that she has playdates with to only give her one snack. I know that when they are playing together they always want to share their snacks with their friends so I will allow one snack, but I don't want them to feel like they have to keep feeding her!!!
My suggestion for when you have this friend or any friend over this summer is to tell them they can have one snack that night, and depending on when they go home the next day, tell them they can only have one more that morning as well. If the friend is going home early that morning, you shouldn't have to feed them any more than breakfast. Tell them what their choices are for snacks and then they can pick when they are hungry from those options, one of the options!!
HTH
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My dd is 11 and this girl is 9yrs old. She's a sweet girl and i really feel bad for her because she is really honestly obese for her age. If i had to guess i would say she's probably close to 180-200lbs? She doesn't have alot of friends according to her mother because she's bi-racial (half white, half African-American) in an all white small town. I think they have a very laid back life over at their house, they have alot of different video gaming systems to play with and my dd does mention they snack alot while she's over there playing. Her mom seems to keep her really sheltered at home so she probably doesn't have anything else to look forward to but eating. I feel bad for her.
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Good Lord, she is eating way too much. I don't think it's that she has a huge appetite, I think she had eating issues. Given her weight, which is really outrageous and dangerous, especially for a 9 year old!, it seems to me she has other issues going on.
I think you should (1) limit snacks to what is reasonable in your opinion (ie what you'd do for your own kids) (2) don't give them the whole bag of anything, only give them individual sized portions (3) if she asks for more snacks, tell her it's not snack time and (4) give them healthier snacks, like fruit, applesauce, whole wheat crackers and low fat cheese, etc. I'm willing to bet she won't be begging for snacks if when she gets a snack, it's healthy stuff. Plus, you'll be setting a good example for her, which she is obviously not getting at home.
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I would just tell her, one snack and give it to her in an appropriate serving size!!! Allow her exactally what you would have your dd eat.
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This sweet little girl is turning into Friend-Zilla!!! A little stalker. After her overnight stay she was already asking to spend last night over here too. Well, dh and i said No, but did allow our dd to go over there and play for the day, she kept nagging our dd to ask us to let her spend the night. Poor dd doesn' want to hurt her feelings, is really feeling put on the spot, so she tells her " My parents said no". So then dd calls me from this girl's house and asks me " Do you want me to come home now or later"......which is a big code red for me and with dd's anxiety issues it's like a secret mom/daughter code for "SAVE ME".....so i said" i will come and pick you up now"....2 minutes later the phone rings and it's Friendzilla asking if my dd can stay for supper and i'm like " no i just told my daughter i am picking her up". I go to pick dd up and Friendzilla is following her to the car with a plastic bag filled with stuff and her mother asks " where are you going?" and the girl said " Oh i was thinking i would just go to her house for awhile". Dang, this girl is bold!!
I asked dd later why Friendzilla keeps calling me even after i say no to something. She said this girl thinks dd is lying and wants to ask me for herself.
I'm begining to think this girl being bi-racial has nothing to do with her lack of playmates at all, i think it's her bossiness and clinging that's turning everyone away. Poor dd is so worried that she will hurt this girl's feelings if she plays with anyone else, that she hasn't played with anyone else since summer vacation started. UGH and this girl calls about 4-5 times a day!!!
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I am sorry...but "Friendzilla"...that just cracks me up!! My DD used to have a friend like this too before we moved. I so feel your pain...but can't help but giggle.
My DD has 1 friend here (who I have not met) who invited herself over for a sleep over the other night. She called and asked Aurora "if I come over and play today can I just eat dinner and spend the night too??". It didn't work for us, but I have a feeling that we may be opening a can of worms when it does. YIKES!
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GRRRR, Friendzilla has called 3 times this morning since 9a.m., i'm on dial-up connection so she gets our call-wave answering machine. She asked for dd to come over today, then hung up. Fifteen minutes later she calls again " I thought you were going to call me back right away*big drawn out guilt inducing sigh* but i guess not?!!" OH Man this girl is something else!!!