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I am not sure who is watching 'Army Wives' on Lifetime, but I am loving it. I wanted to address something that was on last night's episode.
The couple on the show that has the woman who is the soldier and the guy is a therapist (I believe) are going through issues with PTSD. So on the show they are sitting down and he is talking to her about retiring and she brings up the troop surge, and he basically realizes that she WANTS to go back to the middle east.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
My husband has PTSD (untreated) and is in denial of it. I believe he just doesnt want to seem weak. He wants to go back, which he doesnt tell anyone, but it has come up.
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My dh had a hard time when he was discharged (medically) because he felt like he was letting his guys down. Its not that he wanted to go back to the danger and risk his life, but his guys were going so he felt that he needed to go back with them. That could be an issue for others as well. He felt like by not going back he was betraying those who did.
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My husband has done a few tours over there. He was in charge of convoy security and such. He has got some major PTSD!! He knows that he has it a bit, but I don't think that he is fully aware of how bad it is, or maybe he does and is just in denial. He doesn't want to get counseling or anything because they put it in your record and blah blah blah. So..it is untreated at the moment.
I know that if he didn't have the kids and I that he would be there again in a heartbeat. His unit is going and it doesn't look like he will be going. He said that it is killing him because he has the experience that they don't have and that if something were to happen he would feel guilty!!
It is kinda like a catch 22. You can get treated for PTSD and have it put in your files and have it bite you in the behind later in your career and prevent advancement, or you do nothing about it, and continue living with it. It sucks either way.
Dh can't stand fireworks, freaks out when cars backfire. We couldn't sleep in the same bed when he first gets home because he tried to break my arm while having a nightmare. And those are just a few of the many things. I can't even imagine seeing what they see!! Poor guys!
Answer:
Girls,
I am a little troubled by this. These men of your's need to be treated. This is not something that will just work itself out. They are going to need to go through some significant counselling. They saw and did things over there that many people couldn't and shouldn't see....and to keep that all bottled up will one day go very very badly.
Is there a way you can talk to their company's higher ups and find out what counselling services they have set up for them? I know some army divisions have PTSD briefings following by meetings with a trained psychologist on staff. It's worth looking into. You don't want this to get any worse.
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My Dad worked on a Post Traumatic Stress project during Vietnam war.
I remember him telling guys to be careful about what they tell people
about their issues.
Because of the Mental Health aspect of it most active duty personnel are afraid to seek treatment when it actually hurts them worse to cover up by not seeking treatment.
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Exactly! They have stuff set up, absoloutely, but you aren't really encouraged to use it. It goes on your record and can really mess up your career when going up for certain things. It is horrible. You see on the news that they have all this stuff set up, but nobody uses it, especially if they plan on making a career of military. It is really sad that they would use this stuff against them, but it happens!
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Most people keep their records in hand when they PCS....so "something" could happen to those records in transit When you have something on your record that you don't want to follow you, it can mistakenly fall out or can be misplaced when you PCS.
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THis is true..........however, i know anytime that we pcs (which has been 4 times) they give them to him in a sealed envelope with a certain stamp.
That would be great though. LOL!!!
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Oh! Dh's is normally in a blue folder in which he carries with him!
I know myself, some of my records went "missing".....and it's a good thing because I've heard sometimes the spouses' records can affect future orders too.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Christy_K_
Girls,
I am a little troubled by this. These men of your's need to be treated. This is not something that will just work itself out. They are going to need to go through some significant counselling. They saw and did things over there that many people couldn't and shouldn't see....and to keep that all bottled up will one day go very very badly.
Is there a way you can talk to their company's higher ups and find out what counselling services they have set up for them? I know some army divisions have PTSD briefings following by meetings with a trained psychologist on staff. It's worth looking into. You don't want this to get any worse.
I have pretty much given up hope that DH will get help. He and the men in his unit (who saw and did everything over there & lost a lot of men) look down on those who have gotten help. They see them as weak. I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH THIS. However, as Sarah said, seeking help and getting it does affect their careers and follows them around. For a while DH was an army recruiter and admitting to PTSD would have cost him his job.