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Over the past few months I have begun to feel weighed down by our stuff!! I look at my neighboors across the street and how empty their gargage is and how empty their house looks from here and I am actually jealous!! It may be that they can't afford much stuff, but I wonder if they realize how nice it is to come home to a tidy garage, not cluttered with stuff?
How do you let go of all that stuff? I see the money we spent on it, or I think I might use it or the kids might play with it someday. As sure as I get rid of that toy, dd will be asking for it.
I have come to realize that I am emotionally tied to the same stuff that I would like to get rid of. I don't know how to get the emotions out of the way and really simplify my life and my kids' lives. It seems that the kids' toys are the hardest. No I wasn't deprived of anything as a child. I lived a comfortable life. As a matter of fact, dh & I are probably not as well of as my parents were.
Any suggestions would be great!
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Lately, I've found it easier to let go of things. I've been watching a lot of those home shows. They have changed the way I think about my stuff. It's just stuff. It doesn't make me who I am and ultimately, it shouldn't make me happy and a lot of times it makes me unhappy (ie clutter!). I have 2 daughters, 4 & 6. I was always afraid to give their toys away too. You didn't mention the age of your child. One good way to clear out the toys is ask her to pick out things to give away to charity (and you can be specific about who it goes to...abuse shelter, children's hospital, drs office). You'd be surprised what they will part with. And don't discourage anything. Don't think of how much something costs or who it came from. If they don't want it, they don't want it. I've always had a hard time with this. I have a generous but controlling MIL. She gives my kids way too much. I would find myself encouraging them to keep toys that she gave them because it would hurt her feelings that the gift was given away or because I knew it was an expensive toy. Again, if they don't want it, it's out. Last time I was under attack for giving away their toys, I told her that I'd given them to a local charity called Friends of the Family. This charity is a shelter for women and children fleeing abusive situations. They have a store front and the women and kids get to pick through the stuff before it's resold. My MIL actually took great comfort knowing the Cabbage Patch dolls that she's paid so much for (and my kids never played with!) could have been a lovey for an abused kid. Another option is a longer term project: put it away. If no one asks where it went, they they don't care. I just fill trashbags with stuffed animals. If it sits in the garage for a month and no one asks for it, it's gone!
It's funny you mention the empty houses. On all those designer shows, I used to think they all looked empty and without character. But now I see it in a different light: no clutter, less dusting! Win, win.
Hope this helps! It's taken me a long time to get this far. I have a hard time letting go of things, especially if they were expensive, but the truth of the matter is that it costs you to keep things you don't need: storage, moving cost and emotional baggage.
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Sharon, I loved your post. I have the same thing, especially with expensive and collector toys, like Disney stuffed animals. We saved so much of ds's toys, and now we have many of them for his baby sister. The worst part is, so many of the electronic ones no longer work, including the expensive ($33) Baby Mozart box! Now, the inexpensive xylophone works and she loves it. My biggest problem is getting the time to go through the stuff. Even if I give it away, I still have to round up the little pieces!
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I am so overwhelmed with everything!!!
We have tons of stuff! Brad just keeps everything! He has a box of hates from when he was in little league and up, he won't let me get rid of anything! Our garage is HORRIBLE!!!
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Originally Posted by desertmom
Sharon, I loved your post. I have the same thing, especially with expensive and collector toys, like Disney stuffed animals. We saved so much of ds's toys, and now we have many of them for his baby sister. The worst part is, so many of the electronic ones no longer work, including the expensive ($33) Baby Mozart box! Now, the inexpensive xylophone works and she loves it. My biggest problem is getting the time to go through the stuff. Even if I give it away, I still have to round up the little pieces!
It's funny you mention Disney stuffed animals! One of my weaknesses is the Disney Store. They have the best sales! One of the things I had the hardest time letting go of was a 'life-sized' Boo (from Monsters Inc.) doll. She was $40 and I paid full price because my daughter had to have her. They never played with that doll. In the year it's been gone, they've asked for it once. I just said it must have been in the toys we gave away. No tears!
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I am right there with you guys. My mother and one of my sisters continually buy things for my kids. For instance, my sister bought them some cute foam visor hats (a dog and a cat hat) at the craft store. They are really cute, and the kids liked them and wore them. So hearing that the kids liked them, my sister goes and buys one of each kind of animal hat the store carries. We have EIGHT now. If it's not hats, it's another bucket of sand toys, or another set of cute plastic kid plates and bowls- always another something. It gives my family so much pleasure to buy for the kids, but I am drowning in stuff. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to quietly remove items and pass them on.
I just read in an organization book that if you are afraid to give something away, then just give it away scared. I loved that- it was like admitting you are afraid to let go but then having the courage to part with it scared or not. And then you get to revel in that light feeling of being unburdened... that is a big reward.
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The bottom line for me is:
1. Can I live without this?
2. Have I been living without this?
As for sentimental things, memories don't die because you get rid of something sentimental. Saving a few key items from your childhood (or your baby's babyhood) is fine, but not every single thing. Just make a commitment to preserve it nicely and put it away though. It becomes too much, and for your children it'll become a burdon because they'll feel they have to save your clutter because for some strange reason it was important to you.
My sons would much rather hear the stories of their births rather than see their umbilical cord stumps or look at their birth announcements. Anyone can hang on to a burp cloth and a wall hanging. But it really means something when you can pass down a memory.
Here's a website that talks about clutter and how to slowly thin it down:
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I completely understand the clutter issue. I had a problem with parting with stuff me and my DH have moved alot in our years of marriage and alot of that time our stuff was in storage, well with this last move we were taking everything out of a storage unit and before we loaded anything up we sorted thru it all and realized we havent used it in 2 years so we figured we didnt need much of it and since that experience I look at things all differently I figure I am poaying out the ying yang to store things I dont use or have some type of memory with it. I take pictures the important things and give to needy families and or trash things and FREECYCLE ALOT of it. I have realized that all it does it take up space and not used so why pay for something over and over again just to store it. My hints are take pics of sentimental things hold on to only whats very important and give away or sell the rest there is always osmeone else who could benefit from it! And all those papers that you hold on to forever go thru them file whats needed trash whats not and feel liberated that you have just beaten down the clutter bug!
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Sometimes I just want to throw everything out!!!! But then I relax........ I too ask is this really that important to me.....do I love it? I am so a clutter bug!!! Maybe someday I will be a recovering clutter bug!!
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The best thing to do is to get some huge trash bags, put as much of the stuff that you haven't used or played with in 2 months in the bags. Put the bags outside or in an area that they won't be ruined but not in your garage. In a week you will not even remember what is in those bags. Trust me! now put it in your driveway and let a charity pick it up or place a FREE sign on it. Goodbye junk! This is what works for me!