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I need some help. My 4 year old has just started pre-k, and she is out of control. I've tried everything, she won't mind me. She just keeps needling me, until I finally have to leave the room or risk completely loosing it. If I don't do something right away or if I do it different than how she want's it done, she stomps her feet, growls, and tells me she doesn't like me. I'm at my witts end. I am to the point to where I cringe when she wakes up in the morning b/c she is going to start crying b/c I didn't wake her up the right way, or when I drop her off at school b/c I didn't say goodbye the right way. I'm wondering if she has OCD? Maybe some of you with daughters can shed light on my situation. Is she unusual?
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Does she get enough sleep? Is she eating well? My kids act out like that when they are tired or hungry. Does she mishave at preschool?
I don't think I'd have much tolerance for growling. But it sounds like she's having a hard time adjusting to school. Start off the day by talking about how things are going to go and what you expect. If she starts acting up, send her to her room. I'd tell her you don't like that behavior and you aren't going to watch it.
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I think my first step would be a long conference with her teacher.
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My question to you is "Has she always been a little more spirited than other kids?" Is she more emotional, energetic, and difficult than other kids that you know OR has this just started out of the blue?
I will tell you for me Four is a difficult age for alot of kids i've watched and even my own eldest son was pretty testy at times. Although my son was pretty spirited from the begining.
I read a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child".....they talk about kids who just seem "MORE" of everything than most kids. They tend to not like change, like things thier way and have aversions to things such as scratchy clothes and things like that too.
Anyway it might not be OCD it might just be that she is a spirited kids.
I will look up the website for that book.
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Here is one link i found...
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I would ask her pediatrician, too. It is amazing the little things that can be wrong to make a child act out.
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I agree with all the above posts. You may want to try my little tactic about how she hurt your feelings. That seems to override any of the angry tactics I tried. They are changing and aren't sure of their boundaries, especially because we let them do more and more. They also have new feelings they don't know how to handle, which we can guide them on. Something that is helping me: don't tell her what not to do, "Don't sass me. (they don't really understand what is a sass and what's not)", tell her what to say, "a better way to get your point across is to say...." Sometimes the sass is a little cute (I did say sometimes), but I know we have to nip it now, because someday, we'll be dealing with a teenager!
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My oldest was a bit of a stinker around 4 years old. I was really starting to worry that there was something wrong with him. We changed our approach in the house and it did help. We just stopped tolerating anything unexceptable. If he wasn't behaving or using good manners he would get a time out, first in a chair with a timer and if he didn't stop, in his room until we said he could come out (when the fit was over). We decided that if he was going to be around us, he was going to be civilized. Along with this, I stopped doing everything for him. I didn't realise that I was his personal slave and he became so demanding. I was exahusted! He started feeling pretty good about himself once he got the hang of it.
We started out w/ a meeting w/ myself, dh and ds. We explained up front what the "new rules" were going to be and what exactly would happen if the rules weren't followed. He tested us and we never lost a battle (there were some pretty big ones). He finally realised, it just wasn't much fun being in the time out chair and started to behave. Since then he has really turned things around at home. Last year in school, that was another story. He had a sweetheart of a teacher and he knew how to play her. But this year he has a teacher that means business, it's a scary thought, but I'll bet he will start doing what is expected in class (I hope).
It's a long process, I wish you the best of luck. You are right deciding that you need to do something right now.
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In response to the question has she always been like this, yes, but not to this extreme. I do have an appointment w/ her Dr., but couldn't get in until 10-31. Maybe the book will give me some insight. I will request it from the library. Thanks for all the responses.
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Holy Cow Jodie!!! That article is Kennedy to a "T"!! I am going to the library b4 I pick her up from pre-k and requesting it. Thanks so much!!