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I am not understanding..first, what is "DCG"...and then, who is it that told you this...and is it about your daughter??? I have six kids...five of six took pacis...and all but one took them until they were 2 1/2-3 years old (he gave his up at 8 months). They also all used sippy cups. NONE of mine have had any developmental problems in any area....including speech.
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Speech theories go in and out of vogue. They always find new things to help and old things that don't help. But we're laypeople and can't really override "the expert". If the child's mom is demanding you do it, you're stuck. However, I would ask her how to humanely handle nap times and other times when baby is crying because of the change. It's not fair to the others, either, to have a miserable baby around. Cold turkey is a heck of a way to go. If it were me, I would cut it down...only during certain times of day, then only at nap and bed time, then only during naptime (or bedtime), but give a substitute lovey.
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I, too, provide childcare in my home. I also have a daughter (17 mos) who uses a paci for bedtime and rarely during the day, if I know she needs a little extra comfort, but I have not tried to take it away yet. Anyway, one word of advice is to always put yourself in the parent's shoes, especially when talking about their child. There were a few words you used in your e-mail to the mom that were a bit harsh, in my opinion. Like, "not feasible", and "won't fly". I'm not here to critisize you, by any means, but I would just be careful how you word things when talking to other parents.
That being said, I would probably agree that the paci and sippy cup MIGHT have something to do with her speech delay. However, she is still young to be speaking too too much (enough to worry about having any significant delay) in my opinion. Bottom line is that you really have to cater as much as possible to the parent's requests when you're watching their children. I have two kids who mostly eat organic foods, and parent's don't feed them anything with high-fructose corn syrup in it. So many things do....but I just can't feed them whatever I want. Anything too specific, they provide, but I just have to be aware....
Maybe you could have HER provide a non-spilling straw sippy cup. They do exist. Also, talk through how you are both going to cut back on her paci use. It sounds like she's willing to budge there and at least let her use it at bedtime/naptime. Just remember that if this was your child, how would you want her caregiver to be handling the situation. KWIM? I hope this didn't come across harshly, that was NOT my intention. HTH
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As far as the sippy cup, it doesn't have to be that big of a deal. they make sippy cups with straws. I know they leak a little, but not much more than a reg sippy cup.
I have a friend who had to switch her dd to the straw type because of a speech issue.
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I work professionally with young children and will tell you that we advocate for parents to begin letting their children have cups WITHOUT lids at all at 6 months and to have no sippy cups after 18 months. I personally have a cup with water I carry around with me at home and in the office for me that has a lid so I understand that lids are helpful in some circumstances BUT they can be a detriment to speech development. If kids are only drinking at the table or in the kitchen then using cups that might spill shouldn't be much of a problem.
Also, the pacifier really should be just limited to bedtime/naptime by this age if used at all. There's no reason for a 1 year old to be walking around when awake with a pacifier - and lots of reasons why they shouldn't be. Sorry, but that is my opinion and what the child development experts are teaching.
Sounds like you are a loving, caring daycare provider - certainly hard to find these days - so I hope you and the mom are able to work out your different philosophies so that the child can stay with you.
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