Ask:
My 14 year old freshman daughter got asked to the homecoming dance by a 17 year old senior. He's a very nice boy with a good reputation at school, with the kids, teachers, even my daughter's coaches (she's a cheerleader). Very polite and well-mannered. In fact, he actually approached my husband and I at a football game and asked us if he could ask her. We were hesitant to say yes, but after my daughter told us about other boys who were asking her (obvious 'player' types), we said ok.
A week later, we're getting some raised eyebrows from family and friends. What do you all think?
Answer:
I think you and your husband should have faith in your decision. You both talked about it and worked it out together. It sounds like you were OK with it until your family/friends said something. Don't let other people influence what you originally felt was a good decision. It also sounds like the best-case scenario for her to have been asked to homecoming. I think this is a good chance for you to test the water with her impending date-life.
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Well I personally think going to the homecoming dance was probably fine, but I wouldn't want them dating on a regular basis. I just think at THAT age, there's a big difference in maturity levels. I know lots of girls who went to homecoming as freshmen, but since they were going with similar aged boys, they were being driven by parents...probably a lot safer. My dd is 16 and I don't think I'd have let her go on a "car" date when 14, but we're known for being overly conservative protective parents. If your dd said it was fine, then I'd quit worrying about it. But I personally wouldn't let her go out with him anymore. JMO
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That IS a tough one. I'll bet she's thrilled. The maturity spread at that age, though is significant. He sounds like a well-mannered young man - wish we had more of them. If she also has a level head, I would let it happen, but with rules. Make sure you know where the after party is, who is driving, very strong on the no alcohol, etc. If she doesn't already have a cell phone, I would also ensure she has one and has practiced using it before the big night. And she MUST check in with you (maybe a couple of time, discreetly). Does she know anyone else he's dated to see what he's like? We girls usually knew among ourselves who we labeled "animal" and warned each other.
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I have a 17 year old daughter....and as long as the rules had been laid on the line for both her AND him, I would have let her, too. No question about it. At this age, girls are usually more mature, and to find a boy their own age is hard. My daughter dated a senior her entire freshman and sophomore year. They eventually parted as friends...and when we moved, we have continued to stay in touch with him and his family. He will always be someone special in our family. (BTW...it took him a YEAR to even KISS her!!! YIPPEE!!!)
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I think you made the right decision. He sounds wonderful. Send them with a ton of rules and your blessing.
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I think you did the right thing If he is well mannered to come and ask permison I think that shows a lot for him right there.
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It sounds like you did your homework and were comfortable enough to make the decision. Don't worry about what others think. My dh and I began dating when I was 15 and he was nearly 18 and it worked out great
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my daughter was 14 and went to the homecoming dance with a 17 yr old. They had a pleasent night. If you trust your daughter forget eveyone else. We get crap over a young man down the street that is friends with us. He is friends with my daughter, he is 19 BUT he is more of a brother, my sister treats it like he is going to be all over her. They dont know him like we do.
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We had our kids' invite their dates and friends over for a bbq so that we could get to know them a little better and it went well. They seem to be good kids. The dance is this Saturday. I can't wait till it's over, lol. This is my first experience with either of my children having a 'date' and it makes me nervous