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I'm sorry is this sounds ignorant - actually I am ignorant about this disease but I don't want to offend anyone. I hope this is the place to post this.
Do autistic children ever 'grow out' of this disease? I know this is a stupid question but I've often wondered when is autistic child is young both the child and the parent learn coping mechanisms, methods for improvement, etc. but does there ever come a time when an autistic young adult can lead a 'normal' young adult life (as if any one of us is normal! But you know what I mean).
I hope I didn't offend anyone...I'm just trying to gain knowledge and thought I'd go right to the source. Thanks.
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Don't worry your not offending anyone. Most of us parents with autistic children are happy to talk about it. That way the next time you see a mother with her child in a store and the child is jumping up and down or is Melting down. You will know it isn't because of bad parenting:D
The general rule is no. If they are autistic then they will always be autistic. BUT... depending on the severity of austim and finding the right therapy, if any, children can get better and some can grow up and have normal jobs and even get married and have a family. Those kids are usually dx with aspergers syndrom which is a high functioning autism.
Some kids, no matter what you do just don't get better. I pray for a cure for my son every day. But just remember God has a purpose for everyone including "special needs" children/ adults. So far I have come up with teaching compassion to others, and teaching me to listen/be intuned.
I hope that gives you what you were looking for. If you have any other questions feel free to ask.
Lynda
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I'm so glad you asked that. I have had two schools suggest that my son be evaluated and his preschool suggested to me that he might be autistic. I didn't feel they were right. Last year, I was talking with his teacher and mentioned what they had said, she said, she could see why the thought that. Each year, I can see so much improvement in my son, which to me means that it was a maturity thing (his doctor agrees).
But I am very interested in what others that are dealing with this think....
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You asked a very good and valid question. This is actually a goal we all have with our kids - to get them "out" of it. Currently, there is no vaccine, cure or medicine for it, so our only help is therapy. Not the "sit on the couch and tell me all about it thing", but therapies such as teaching a child how to act in a social situation, coping skills for mood changes (how do you handle disappoint, excitement and anger), learning focusing skills, tricks on how to read better - sometimes it's as simple as finding the right phrase that will "flip the switch" in their heads and make them understand something. So, no, they don't grow out of it, but they learn coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, if they are not given these growing opportunities, frustration will mount and they will act out, especially through anger or withdrawal. That's one reason why we need our spouses' and friends' support. Denial is a true disservice to a child that can actually show brilliance or "become normal" with help. I go back to my leg comparison. Someone who is missing a leg can sit there and continue to sit his life away or get a prosthetic or crutch and learn to cope and walk, and even run, his way through life. As much as is needed still to help children, adults with autism are largely ignored. For instance, engineering is a wonderful field for some who have Aspergers - very black and white, needing obsessive focusing skills and extensive knowledge. But SOME engineers are considered to have not much of a personality. (This is, of course, not always, just to illustrate a segment.) They are too busy in their world and the perfectionism needed (which is why they can also make good doctors) to worry about your feelings (you wouldn't want this doctor's bedside manner - he's better at research unless he's learned the social skills. Aspergers have social issues, and can't understand why you're obsessing over why a person at a party is ignoring you. Big deal. They can come off as arrogant, but simply fly their plane at a different altitude. They can be nerdy, but they don't care what you think - they haven't picked up on the social cues on how to dress and act, but are at peace with their differences often by the time they reach adulthood. Unfortunately, because of this, they often isolate themselves. They've learned to live without friends and don't really understand the rewards of friendship. I know some lightbulbs are probably going off and someone may be saying, "Wow, so and so may have Aspergers or be autistic." Maybe, maybe, but only a doctor can do a correct diagnosis. I was actually relieved to find my son wasn't ADHD, since there are no controversial medicines for autism, really. But, like ADD and ADHD and diabetes, they don't grow out of it, but with the right tools, can learn to cope and even excel. Thank you for your intelligent question, and I'm sure no one was offended. It is a condition, rather than a disease. Kind of like pregnancy, but lasts longer (although sometimes you wonder, when you're pregnant!).
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I've had that "light bulb" about my son for awhile. He does absess about certain topics and will talk about them until my eyes cross. He is very bright and as he matures the "quirks" seem to mellow out. It's hard for me to understand how someone that is labled (which rings in my own head as, "something wrong with" and those are fighting words when talking about my beautiful babies) can be doctors and engineers. How can there be something wrong with them if that can attain such high achievments?
I hope I haven't said anything wrong, it's just so hard for me to wrap my head around this.
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Treehugger, that's EXACTLY it, and why I wish others out there were more openminded. Autism is such a huge spectrum, from the catatonic to the brilliant, but socially unacceptable. Remember the movie "A Beautiful Mind"? I don't know if that man is autistic or not - not for me to say, but it's the same pattern. Society thinks anyone who doesn't fit a certain mold is unacceptable and, although adults are more mature and more accepting often, children aren't. However, kids w/sensory processing issues need extra help to learn in our schools and society that is set up for typical children, or they will simply fall behind. I recently had a talk with my son's teacher, who is, thankfully, experienced in this area. I mentioned that last year I had considered putting him into either a Montessori or charter school so he wouldn't fall behind and get picked on by typicals. She said it would have been very bad for him, and that he needs the typical modeling. She said otherwise, he would have gone off in the corner and just done his own thing. Before having him, I never really thought about how important to our lives, our jobs and relationships that socialization really is because it just comes so easily to most of us. And I think you're right. There's not anything "wrong" with my son, which is why I so much fought the "disabled" nameplate and was hesitant about using resource teachers, etc., because I didn't want him with that label. It's just that he is different, and that difference gets in his way of socialization and learning. I've gone from not wanting to use special services so he wouldn't stand out, to seeking out more and more so that he doesn't stand out due to his differences. You are so right, though, not to let teachers label him. They are not doctors. It actually took over a year to get an official dx of my son, and that's from the same doctor! It's especially hard, but important at this age when they are constantly changing as they mature. Don't let anyone bully you into labeling him, but if YOU think there is a cause, then get him tested. You can do that without the school even knowing. You know your son more than any of them. I knew my son enough to know there were differences and wanted to avoid heartbreak down the road. If you think there may be a chance, but are still hesitant, check out The Out of Sync Child and a book or website on Aspergers (I have one in my bedroom, let me know if you want the title). My son was pretty much a textbook case.
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I actually posted about my sister. She is 35 years old with high functioning autism. She still does have autism but we have learned how to live with it.
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Originally Posted by desertmom
If you think there may be a chance, but are still hesitant, check out The Out of Sync Child and a book or website on Aspergers (I have one in my bedroom, let me know if you want the title). My son was pretty much a textbook case.
Thank you so much!!! You've given me some serious food for thought. I would love to know the title of the book on Aspergers if you get a chance.
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Originally Posted by desertmom
I recently had a talk with my son's teacher, who is, thankfully, experienced in this area. I mentioned that last year I had considered putting him into either a Montessori or charter school so he wouldn't fall behind and get picked on by typicals. She said it would have been very bad for him, and that he needs the typical modeling. She said otherwise, he would have gone off in the corner and just done his own thing.
I've been posting with Stacia about homeschooling. And to be very honest, it is for the same reasons you mentioned thinking of putting your son in Charter or Montessori schools. There are times when I would just like to take him and let him be his own little different self right here at home where no one will hurt his feelings. I know what's in there and he's a beautiful, insightful, wonderful child, but socially sometimes, he can be a little too much. Preschool was a nightmare, kindergarten was a mild improvement, but still not great. This year seems even a little better yet. He is slowly learning to fit in. As hard as it is for all of us sometimes, I think this is the best way for him. I'm so glad we talked. Thank you.
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Originally Posted by treehugger
Thank you so much!!! You've given me some serious food for thought. I would love to know the title of the book on Aspergers if you get a chance.
Are you referring to the Oasis guide to Aspergers? That is an awesome book. Barb Kirby co-authored the book and she also runs the website.