Ask:
In speaking with ds' therapist the other day, something was mentioned I wanted to share with you. We were talking about how picky his eating is, which is normal for any kid, and especially for kids with SPD - Sensory Processing Disorder. When he was a baby, he ate everything, but gagged easily. We were discussing his motor delays, both fine and gross, and were talking about possible causes of autism, like the vaccines. I stated that I think he was born this way, was genetically predisposed (I think two of my brothers are autistic, but back then they were just labelled slow), but something flipped the switch. That is just my uneducated opinion. Here's the kicker to share:
She stated she wasn't surprised that we had such a hard time breastfeeding at first. She stated that babies who are later found autistic and with SPD have a hard time with the motor skills needed for nursing. Their little mouth muscles are also delayed. What a lightbulb! And I felt so guilty for not being able to teach him to nurse. We did finally get it, and got it well. He would have stayed latched for 24 hourse if he could. We would have 2 hour marathons of straight nursing at times. I found out this could also be normal for this type of child. Now a warning: if a mom is having nursing issues, it does NOT necessarily mean your child has these issues; please do not think that. But if other delays start sprouting up, you may want to bring it up to your ped. But it's not your fault, either way. But I would like to know if any other of you had nursing problems, then found out your child had motor delays. It's just something I'd never thought of. As mentioned before, it took six years before our ped finally saw something raising a flag that our son wasn't typical. Thank God I had friends with Special Needs children who gently suggested I could get him tested through the school district.
Answer:
That is VERY interesting! Thank you for sharing. Leah (the other twin) had a lot of issues with breastfeeding, but it was more related to her premature status. I tried and tried to nurse her, but it would make her so tired, and she would only nurse long enough to take the edge off, then fall asleep again. As soon as I'd move her, she's wake up, and nurse again, only to fall asleep after a few minutes. One day I did this ALL MORNING LONG, and I realized, I just did not have the time or the resources to keep nursing like this, as well as pump for a sick twin, and take care of a dd who'd just turned 2, and had her entire world turn upside-down when I brought one of her sisters home from the hospital. I think if I'd just had the twins, I would have been determined enough to nurse her until she got it, but I after I finally gave it over to God, I realized that I just could not keep doing what I was doing (plus I was only making enough milk to feed one baby). I made a deal with myself that I would keep pumping until Lily came home, and whatever breastmilk they got was better than nothing at all. It got to the point that I could only manage to pump a couple of times a day, but I was okay with that because I knew I was doing everything I could manage at the time. (My first was a champion nurser, however, and she breastfed until she was 14-1/2 months old.....and 3 months later, I was pregnant with twins).
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My oldest DD #1 nursed fine but I didn't have the opportunity to nurse her that long because I was still in high school and had to work to support her. DD #3 had a hard time nursing and DD #4 never did get the hang of it. All 3 of them has sensory issues. I have blamed myself for DDs #3 & 4 because maybe I didn't try hard enough or my boobs were to big or I didn't produce enough milk. This helps give me a better sense of peace that 3 months of trying was enough and it wasn't all my fault.
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I find it interesting that a therapist told you about this and so many us are now making the comparison when thousands are being spent for research and they miss some of the most obvious things.
This was a very good post and surely gives me more to think about and tell others to see if they also had similar experiences. Carol, thanks so much for posting this.
April