Ask:
I'm a perfectionist and my poor DH and house suffer because of it. My DH has pretty much always been organized but I really have to work at it because I want to be perfect. (Like my Mom) Well I gave up a couple months ago. Finally last weekend my DH said "Honey please don't be offended but I could really use your help around here." Where have I been? There were some things he didn't do because he didn't think it would meet my standards. Well that was a wake up call! We worked on the house together last weekend (with the boys) and I'm feeling much better after only a couple days.
Does anybody else struggle with perfectionism or feel like they've just gotten off track?
Answer:
I tend to avoid starting anything unless I know I can do it perfectly. I also generally feel that jobs are bigger than they are actually are and avoid starting them because i think they are going to take too long.
Sounds crazy but the flylady timer thing really helped me. Depending on how much i feel i can cope with, i set the timer for 5, 10 or 15 mins and then just start. I usually find that it takes me not as long as i thought it would and racing the timer also means i get it done, rather than get it done perfectly.
In one sense you have to treat yourself like a kid or your best friend - what would i say to pep talk a kid/or my friend who needed encouragement. Then say it to yourself, and give youself a pat on the back for the little achievements. Eg today, even though i really didn't want to and my feet and legs were aching, after my dh went back to work for the evening (he is quite busy at the mo, so comes home for tea and goes back after) I got up, set the timer and cleaned up the kitchen. It took me less than 15 mins when it looked like a much bigger job. Then i told myself well done, you deserve a nice shower with your favourite luxury shower creme.
If you haven't checked it out, the flylady website flylady.net is all about dealing with exactly what you are talking about. Its kind of retrainig your thinking and self discipline step by step.
Answer:
I try to remember the 80/20 rule. You can get 80% of a job done well in a reasonable time- so don't burn yourself out and spend hours on the other 20%. Go for the big picture.
As FlyLady says: housework done imperfectly still blesses the house.
Answer:
Originally Posted by jnbythesea
As FlyLady says: housework done imperfectly still blesses the house.
Although I don't follow flylady closely (if you could see my house you'd know that ) but I did read her book and this was one of the biggest things I remember. She said people can look around and get overwhelmed because they think "I don't have time to do all this right now", so they don't do any. So she said just zoom around for 15 mins or so and do what you can. Anything is better than nothing. So sometimes I'll follow this philosophy and say, "well I can't clean everything today", but I'll set my oven timer and pick a room to spend 10-15 minutes on, then if I get a chance later I can do another...or another. Doesn't end up perfect, but at least it's better.
Answer:
I do struggle with the same things, I have always been unorganized and I would never start anything because I couldn't do it perfect. I think this thread will be very helpful for me I hope everyone post more thoughts on this. I think I will try the timer idea.
Thanks