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I was wondering if any parents on her have had to talk about sex with their kids at an earlier age then you thought you would have to? Some things have happened in our family in the past (recently) that my husband and I had been made aware of this past week. After being horrified....we had to deal with it! I have three kids...12, 6 and 3. My ds is the 6 yr. old....the other two are girls. He is basicly the one I am worried about because he got exposed to something on TV that he was not supposed to be exposed. Now I have to deal with him and I don't know if I am dealing with it the right way. my husband and I sat him down and talked to him about things but I wonder if I need to do more? Also the stuff that he saw what not at our home...we monitor our TV's and what they watch. He did not see it on his own either...it was show to him. This is really hard for me to even talk about...it is embarrasiing so that is why it is hard for me to say exactly what happened.
I hope maybe I will feel better if I had some insight.
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I haven't yet, my oldest is 8. It would depend on what exactly he saw and what context. my girls have seen commercials for desparate housewives while we were watching extrme home makeovers. which is why we no longer watch home makeovers. they know mommies and daddies love each other differently. but they think it's like how each of them is unique and different. sisters love sisters differntly than they love mom/dad, etc.
not sure I was any help, sorry.
allgirls
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I guess because we have so many kids, mine were exposed earlier than most. I had a guidance counselor, after doing some testing on my child, tell me that she showed "too much knowledge on sexual subjects". Umm...okay. I am so protective that we don't even use babysitters (I was molested by one as a child). There is no way she was exposed to anything other than what I taught her at the time. So, I did some checking, and I guess from us telling her where babies come from because Mommy was having one, she got too smart on the subject!! I think, on average, my kids were 9ish. For girls, these days, stuff has to be talked about earlier due to so many starting periods early, etc. and because we have to watch for "bad" stuff happening so much. For my son, it was just one of those, well if I am telling the girls, I may as well tell him. I do not know what "bad" thing your son saw, but I think it would depend on that on what I would tell him. It is NOT embarrassing...things happen..just go with it and use it to learn from.
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It is really hard to say what to do without knowing the whole story, but since he was exposed to something you didn't think was appropriate, you need to sit down and discuss it with him. You needn't go into great detail, just say why it was inappropriate for him to view and ask him if seeing it made him feel uncomfortable and why. Also ask him if he has any questions about what he saw. If he does, then answer those questions. Let him be your guide.
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Originally Posted by hawkshoe
It is really hard to say what to do without knowing the whole story, but since he was exposed to something you didn't think was appropriate, you need to sit down and discuss it with him. You needn't go into great detail, just say why it was inappropriate for him to view and ask him if seeing it made him feel uncomfortable and why. Also ask him if he has any questions about what he saw. If he does, then answer those questions. Let him be your guide.
I agree
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Our dh is almost 5 and he asked very very specific questions right when he turned FOUR!! A friend of mine was pregnant (his little friend's mom) and he wanted to know everything!! I did tell him more than I ever thought I would at that age, but I didn't tell him ALL. He knows I am holding out on him! Finally after him asking again I finally had to tell him, "When you're older I will tell you more"!
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I say talk, talk, talk but you know your son best.
I tried to talk to DD#1 about it last year. My parents NEVER talked to me about sex so I wanted her know what I didn't. (Finding things out from friends and movies shouldn't be the way it's done!) Well, I'm going to say that she was too immature to handle the information. How do I know? Well, I started the conversation with the scientific part of sex with talking about the eggs. So she starts clucking like a chicken and asking if she's going to lay an egg!!! That was the end of the subject.
From my own experience, my parents took us to see R movies at the drive-in and my maternal grandmother let me watch HBO. Because I didn't know anything about it, it became very taboo and exciting. I'd say that you should protect your kids from that at any cost.
I'd also be very concerned about someone 'showing' him something sexual. Obviously this person wanted some kind of reaction that wouldn't be appropriate ie, arousal, disgust or just plain shock.
Good luck with your situation. His take on sex should be healthy and start at home!
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I have been talking to my boys about it for about a year or so, they are 5 & 7. I bought a good book called, "All about me" from the Christian book store. I had a hard time approaching the subject, so reading it was a good way for me to start. The book has a little boy asking his mother and father all kind of questions. It uses proper names for everything and is writen for kids this age. They have follow up books for older children that I'm sure are more specific. I'm going to read it to them again. They are starting to ask more question. The neighbor's cows have been having babies and they think it's all very interesting...lol
I'm sorry your son was exposed to something he shouldn't have seen. I hope you confronted the person that took it upon them selves to do this. And I do think you should really find out how he is feeling about what he saw.
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I would definately be having a conversation with your son asap...
We have always been very open to questions of any kind in our house and my kids have asked questions here and there over the years and I've just answered them honestly and with information tailored to their age. I don't think a five year old needs to know specifics about intercourse like 'the penis goes in the vagina' ... kwim? LOL I have a friend that her sons know such explicit information, from a very early age onward, it freaks me out a little bit. Or maybe I'm a prude...? LOL My kids just didn't ask those explicit detailed questions at an early age. So maybe I'd have to if they did, I just don't know.
There are also a lot of really good books out there, so for older kids (9, 10 etc +), who might feel uncomfortable asking questions, could certainly look in a book.
I have two boys and we're very clsoe and they talk to me quite a bit but I've told them, look, I don't have a penis, but I'll try to answer your questions, you can talk to Dad or we'll figure it out together.
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My dd 12yrs and my ds 6 were staying the night at there grandparents house....they live next door. Well dd showed ds a sex movie when they were supposed to be watching the disney channel...my parents had no clue what happened. They left them to watch tv in the next room. I don't know what he saw or how much of it they saw. It must have happened late...HBO and those channels sometimes show some of those movies after 11:00pm.
Well, this happened about 6 months ago....I just found out about this 2 weeks ago after we were at a cousins house in Sept. and my son told a 5 yr old girl about what he saw and that she was supposed to put toys in her vagina.
His mom called me last week and told me what her daughter told her and then had her daughter checked out at the pediatrician.....and routinely they notify DCF.
DCF came to my house and question everyone in the family about the incident. We talked to the kids about the whole thing and that is when we found out about the movie they saw.
I am just sick about the whole incident....should I have my son in counciling? I have a 3yr old dd too. he may have done something to her. I had to have her checked out too.
I feel at this time...talking to my parents and telling them what happened ....so they can block their TV......and talking to the kids might be enough....maybe bringing it out in the open will prevent any further stuff from happening. I explained to them that we do not watch movies like that and we do not show our privates or talk about them to other people...we do not tough other peoples privates....etc. Then I had to go into further detail with my dd about sex of course....oh what a week I have had...I have lost sleep, I feel sick about the whole thing....because my son.....my baby did this. Is my son in need of professional counciling.